Welcome

Hi Everybody,
There are tons of books and websites for personal inspiration, but I think that best way to find yourself  and your happiness is not reading some stories for what kind of person you should be, but reading some personal stories. And yes I'm sure there are tons of them also, but my life is my life. I received a lot of punches and always stand up and continue. This Blog is 2 way relation, I will share my pain to make it smaller and I hope this will inspire you and make you feel better. So let's get started from the very begining.
I grew up in Bulgaria, a small beautiful country in Europe with big history and a lot of beautiful places, but also with a lot of problems.

Picture by http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/bulgaria/articles/walking-holidays-bulgaria-on-top-of-the-world/

So what it was to live in a small village in Bulgaria? I'll answer that question later. Problem number one in my life was when I hit the blindness of bulgarian institutions. I had great brother, 12 years older than me, he was the dream man for a lot of girls out there, beautiful, blond with so perfect blue eyes that you can drown in  and perfect body shaped with a lot of training, smart, sensitive and always ready to play with his small annoying sister, which favourite play was just to hang on his leg while he is trying to go somewhere. He was also a great painter. So all together is something very rare in this world, but now all's gone. He is not dead, no. He got sick, a terrible illness that in normal world is treathable and people with this diagnosis can live normally, but not in Bulgaria at that time - "paranoid schizophrenia with delusions of persecution". This was the first time Life stole something valuable for me. It was hard for everybody, but probably mostly for my mother. I don't know and I don't want to know what is the feeling to see your perfect son to turn in aggressive man who wants to kill your smallest daughter, because the voices in his head said so, what is the feeling to explain to your small girl that this is not his fault, that all is because of his illness. And just for the record, I was that girl and I tried to understand and I keep telling myself that all that I had suffered was because of the illness, but can't forget just can't. More than 15 years later I can't go and see him, the small girl in me will always scream terrified looking at this blue eyes. There is no way to forget all Christmas Eve's whith unknown people, hidden for your own safety and life. So simple thing that all we have and do not appreciate enough "Christmas Eve with family". All in our life goes straight forward and we forget to be thankfull for all that we have, and we have a lot in all small moments every day. I found the power in myself to forgive him, actually this are not right words, I don't have to forgive him, because he has no fault for anything. It's bulgarian institutions fault that let this happen, that big part of my childhood was nightmares. And that's the final destination of my tale today - fear. We should not let the fear controll our life. I spend enough time to live in fear, it's enough. No the only things that I'm scared is not to lose the people I love. I don't fear for my life, it's so fragile and is out of my power, but I do fear about people I love, not to harm them and not to make them suffer.Now looking back i can say, no matter my problems I had a great childhood. I was running free across the streets and fields, discovering miracles of nature, I was eating all BIO, but real one, not out of the shelf, I was making houses in bushes, hunting frogs and lizards. I was able to feel the power of humanity, I received all the love that somebody could give you even when he is not part of your family, because you're small scared girl away from your family on one of the greatest Christian hollydays. Nowadays humanity is rare thing, people are very selfish, technologies are stealing a lot of us. Don't sorry for me, I had more than anybody of you could ever feel, but this had its price, a high price, but I would pay it again, because this make me the person I am now.
So your lesson today : Don't let the fear to controll your life, find the positives in situation and stick on that, because you will take nothing good ot of negative emotions. Appreciate all valuable people in your life and be happy for any moment you have, because you don't know how many moments are left.